BIBLICAL PARENTING WISDOM
Proverbs 23:13-14 NKJV
13 Do not withhold correction from a child,
For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
14 You shall beat him with a rod,
And deliver his soul from hell.
Before I was born, Dr. Benjamin Spock wrote a bestselling book on parenting. The book was written in 1946 but was still a major voice when I showed up in 1959. The book was criticized by conservatives because Spock was not an advocate of spanking. I really don't know about that; my parents never read the book. And my parents were advocates of spanking. Spanking is considered an antiquated form of parenting today, but the scriptures addressed the subject. This devotional is not to convince parents to spank. However, parents still need to pay attention to something in these verses.
Whether a parent chooses to spank or not spank, I am going to stay away from that call. But every parent needs to correct. I am probably going against the flow of what is commonly called Gentle Parenting. But the scriptures are clear on not withholding correction from a child. Correcting our children is a key role for a parent. Children are not always capable of understanding where they have missed the mark. And if children do understand and purposely rebel, there needs to be correction.
People get too caught up with the beat them with a rod part of these verses. My parents were raised in the South, where go pick your switch was not uncommon. They never beat me with a rod, but I do remember the belt. I can hear the calls to CPS now. We did not use a belt on our children. The rod can be taken literally, but the main idea of correction is that there are consequences in life. When you do wrong, there are consequences. Enforcing consequences is not fun for any parent. The easy thing to do is pass, but in withholding correction with consequences as a parent, we are not helping our children in the long run.
The big picture for parents is to raise children who take responsibility for their actions. When our children were older, we used grounding with correction. We would make sure they knew what they did wrong. Then, they were grounded for an amount of time from something they enjoyed. This could be TV, games, or the internet. But not church or youth group. The idea was not punishment but correction with the lesson of consequences. Matt and some of his friends said they were going to start a band named Perpetually Grounded.
I realize culture has changed from when I was growing up. In my childhood, neighbors would spank you and send you home. The assistant principal at my high school had no qualms about giving "licks" with a paddle. I will not go on a rant about how those were the days, but I did grow up with a healthy understanding of actions and consequences. The Bible calls it sowing and reaping. Ultimately, we want to raise children who are sensitive to the Lord and live in obedience to Him.
Oh, and there's no need to write to me and tell me how wrong I am about parenting. You are too late. My children are grown and gone. And Joy and I are thankful that despite our shortcomings as parents, they turned out well. Correction and consequences are not the only things in parenting; you'll need a lot of prayer and a lot of God's mercy and grace.